In Sleep
by S.J. Kohl
Summary: Sephiroth needs Zack to watch over him while he's sleeping...but why? WARNING: AU, sex, trauma, graphic violence, self inflicted wounds, mature themes, experimentation, character death, uke Seph. ZackxSephiroth. EDITING DUE TO CC. CH 1 AND 2 DONE.
1. Part One: Invite

In Sleep  
By S.J. Kohl

Zack/Sephiroth  
Rating: NC-17, overall.  
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine.

Summary: Sephiroth has an unusual request to make of Zack. He says he's been sleepwalking, and he just needs someone to sleep in his room him and make sure he stays in one place. But what's really going on?

Warnings: AU, violence, death, self-mutilation, adult themes, yaoi, sex, trauma, experimentation, Uke Sephiroth, angst, language.

* * *

Zack knocked on the door and resisted the urge to bang his head against the cinderblock wall. Sephiroth's apartment. He'd just knocked on the door to General Sephiroth's apartment. What was he thinking? He might be a Soldier Second Class, but he was only fifteen years old, barely older than the youngest cadets, hardly more than a sniveling brat in the eyes of someone like Sephiroth. That wasn't to say he hadn't earned his rank, damn it—he'd worked damn hard to make Soldier!—but still…that wasn't the point. The point was, _what in Odin's name was he doing knocking on General Sephiroth's door after curfew?!_

Zack took a deep breath and knocked again. He took another deep breath, trying to suck some oxygen back into his numb cheeks. He couldn't get them to stop tingling. He'd been invited. That was right. Invited. He wasn't here of his own accord. A note had been slipped under his door, telling him the General needed to see him and that it was too urgent to wait until morning. Zack shoved down any and all inappropriate thoughts as to what a man like the General could possibly want with an underage almost-cadet in the middle of the night, and knocked again.

Was the General even home? Zack pressed his ear up flat against the door. He didn't hear any movement inside, not even a breath of air. Maybe someone else had left the note, as a joke? But no, it had been pressed with the General's seal, and no one had access to that but Sephiroth. Anyone else caught using it…

Zack cut that line of thinking off as well. He didn't really want to know what might happen in that case. He raised his fist to knock again, but the lock clicked, and Zack had just enough time to scramble backwards before the door opened and he toppled inside and smacked against the General's chest. Zack looked up, and up, and up, forced his eyes to push past pale, sculpted chest muscles and leather straps and focus on the General's feral, sharp-featured face. He snapped to attention, shoulders straight and uniform mostly tugged into place. "Zackary Fair, Soldier Second Class, Sir. You wanted to see me, General Sephiroth, Sir?"

General Sephiroth stared, hair swaying slightly in a breeze that shouldn't exist in a climate-controlled area.

Zack blinked. Sephiroth looked young, a lot younger than Zack had ever imagined he would look. Oh, he'd seen the General before, of course, but only from a distance, and intellectually he knew Sephiroth was only twenty-one years old, but he'd just never imagined that General Sephiroth could look so…soft…around the edges. There was something in his eyes Zack couldn't quite define. They were a bright green, like grass after a spring rain, and they were wider than he'd pictured, but there was something in them, something… Zack blinked again. "Sir?"

Sephiroth cocked an eyebrow and brushed a strand of silver hair out of his face. "I said, why don't you come in, Soldier."

"Yes, Sir," Zack nodded, stepping into the room as Sephiroth backed out of the way. He didn't return to attention. Instead, he fell into position with his legs shoulder-width apart and his hands clasped behind his back. He didn't move far from the door that closed behind him. What was he supposed to do, just go collapse on the General's couch? _Although… _Zack eyed the dark gray leather contraption in the far corner of the room. It was one of those huge couches that span more than one wall, and it looked like it was made of butter. Zack swallowed as the General took a seat at one corner of the couch.

General Sephiroth, still dressed in that uncomfortable-looking uniform even this far past curfew, didn't say anything. He just sat there and stared at Zack. His eyes traveled minutely, flicked up from Zack's feet to his hair, and then back down again.

Zack shifted his feet a little, but he didn't say anything either. It wasn't really his place to talk, and he did have the patience to observe _some _rules. Despite popular opinion, he had a pretty healthy sense of self-preservation. He had to know exactly where he was standing before he did things like bounce rubber-band balls off the heads of superior officers. Zack suppressed a wince, remembering just how that particular incident had turned out. Perhaps his sense of self-preservation _was _just a trifle off. He might need to work on that.

Finally, Sephiroth stirred and spoke. "You're Angeal Hewley's student?"

"Yes, Sir."

Sephiroth crossed one leg over the other and beckoned for Zack to take a couple steps closer. "He speaks very highly of you."

"Thank you, Sir."

Sephiroth studied Zack for a few minutes longer, his eyes lingering on shoulders and arms, on the strength of his stance and the way he held his balance.

Zack cleared his throat, unable to stand it any longer. "Sir?"

Sephiroth leaned back, allowing the warm, soft grip of the leather to ease the ache in his back. Then he leveled a tired glare at Zack. "Yes, Soldier?"

Zack licked his lips and shifted his weight again. He looked around the room. There was a painting hanging over the couch, some kind of grayscale abstract, and there were a few other pieces hung on the white walls here and there. There was the couch, of course, and the glass coffee table in front of it, a small black table at either end, and another he'd noticed by the door as he came in. There was a chair that matched the couch, and a large flat screen television on one wall, and the floor was made of gray and white tile, and it looked cold. Zack finally settled his gaze on Sephiroth, knowing the respectful thing to do was to look down, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. It was after eleven. Curfew had hit over an hour ago, and, as far as he knew, the middle of the night wasn't exactly a conventional time for assignments or the like. It seemed terribly suspect. But...who said no to Sephiroth? Zack grimaced. Maybe that was the point. "Sir," Zack said, his voice quieter than usual. "Is there a reason you…invited me over?"

Sephiroth snorted inwardly, though his outward expression remained deadpan. The word invited was certainly misleading. It had been an order, even if it had been phrased rather…politely. That had been a courtesy toward Zack; they both knew it wasn't his place to refuse. As another courtesy, Sephiroth definitely should have told the boy why he was here by this point. It certainly sounded…suspect. Yes, that was the word. Zack was young, _too _young, in fact, and he was trying to climb upward in the Soldier ranks. Sephiroth had the power to help him with that, if he so chose to do so, and Zack would, of course, know that. So…an order issued to a young Soldier, to present himself, alone, at the General's quarters in the middle of the night. The whole situation did not reflect at all well on Sephiroth. It went completely against every rule and regulation on the books, he had no doubt. Still, the boy hadn't flinched. He didn't even look nervous. Sephiroth couldn't quite figure the kid out. Most cadets and even new Soldiers looked up at him with that strange mixture of fear and worship haunting their eyes, and Zack was younger than most new Soldiers. Sephiroth looked the boy over again. There was no fear in his eyes. Interest, confusion, and a little bit of wariness, perhaps, but no fear. Sephiroth gestured to the other wing of the couch. "Sit down, Private Fair."

Shrugging, Zack moved to flop down onto the leather couch. He caught himself, though, before he sprawled out completely. This wasn't _his _room, after all. Still, he leaned back and made himself comfortable. He sighed happily. It was just as soft as he'd imagined it would be, and supple too. It conformed to the shape of his body, hugged him close so he knew he'd have no trouble falling asleep if he just let himself drift off for a moment. He sat in the corner, cross-legged, leaning half against the back of the couch and half against the arm. Zack turned to face Sephiroth again, and grinned. "Mission accomplished, General."

Sephiroth fought to keep from rolling his eyes. "I see. But can you perform that well in the field?"

Zack's grin didn't falter. "Occasionally. If Angeal offers the right treats and doesn't make me jump for them."

Sephiroth eyed Zack, keeping down his smile only with great effort. The boy had guts, and that could only be a good thing. He did wonder, though, what Zackary Fair would make of his…request. It was unusual at best, completely inappropriate in any case, and potentially fatal at worst. Zack was only Second Class, and that was certainly a potential hazard, but nerve and a refusal to freeze up were the most important qualities in regards to this particular mission, and Sephiroth had thought Zack the most capable Soldier out there, considering what he'd heard and what he'd seen just now. Perhaps Genesis and Angeal were better suited, being stronger and knowing him better, but he couldn't ask either of them so it didn't really matter. According to Angeal's reports, Zack was both stronger and faster than he should be, given his age and his Second Class mako levels, and he was intuitive, a natural strategist. He had his flaws, of course, but Sephiroth had the sneaking suspicion they would be more beneficial than anything in this situation. Sephiroth was the General, after all. He was feared, held in awe. Untouchable. In fact, everyone tried to stay as far away from him as possible, even when they were speaking directly with him. They wanted to be out of range, he supposed. And that was fine, usually, but right now he neededsomeone to keep close to him. Very close. And Zackary Fair had, in the space of a few moments, demonstrated a remarkable ability to be very free with himself in Sephiroth's presence. Under normal circumstances, Sephiroth would consider that to be an intolerable nuisance, but it might just come in handy right now. He didn't know Zackary Fair, didn't trust him, but... Sephiroth sighed. It was getting to the point where he had to trust _someone. _"Zackary…may I call you that?"

Zack nodded, slightly mystified. "Zack, actually."

"Zack, then." Sephiroth leaned over a little, toward Zack. "I have a rather…unusual…request to make of you."

Zack cocked his head to the side. "An order?"

"No" Sephiroth shook his head. He wouldn't make an order out of this. If Zack was going to do it, it would have to be of his own free will. And if he refused, well, Sephiroth would deal with the consequences as they arrived. "Just a request. You can refuse if you want to."

"I…" Zack took a deep breath, confused. He was only Second Class, and barely that. He'd just been promoted up from the cadets a few months ago, and, sure, he'd skipped Third Class entirely, but it wasn't like he was the only Soldier who'd ever done that. It happened occasionally. So, if the General was going to go asking for personal favors, why come to him? He was good, yeah, but he was no First Class. Not yet, anyway. "…Sir?"

"I'm serious, Zack. You don't have to do this. I'm asking you because I think you are well suited to my purposes and because I believe your presence would be quite beneficial, but I would never do anything to make you...uncomfortable. Besides, if you choose to accept this assignment, you can't afford to have any reservations, so if aren't you entirely certain, please tell me so. I'll be happy to let you go back to your room."

Zack's eyebrows drew together in confusion. A mission he'd be uncomfortable with, a personal favor to the General? He'd thought again for a second that there was something…suggestive…about the whole situation, but no. He didn't think there was. There was something earnest in Sephiroth's eyes, something almost desperate. Like he was worried about something. Afraid, even. And Zack had been through a lot of strange things already. Just last week Sephiroth had shoved him up against a wall and performed a full-body cavity search on him when Hojo had accused him of stealing classified documents from the lab. He hadn't even seen the General during the entire procedure, but he sure remembered how his hands felt. Of course, he _had _stolen the documents, but he'd been issued orders to do so, and he hadn't been stupid enough to keep them on his person for more than a few moments. Ergo, they hadn't been found. But anyway, if _that _hadn't made him uncomfortable, he wasn't entirely sure what would. Sure, he might be a little uneasy right now, but he wasn't afraid. Or uncomfortable, exactly. Still… Zack nodded, his smile ghosting away, almost like it had never been there. "I'll be honest, Sir. I promise."

"Good," Sephiroth took a deep breath. He looked away. It was time for the awkward part. "I…I need you to sleep with me."

Zack blinked, his eyebrows furrowed tight together again. He shook his head, hoping he'd heard wrong and fearing, just a little, that all those thoughts he'd had about the General asking him up here weren't too far off the mark after all. Not that it could be _all _bad, if that really was what Sephiroth was after. Zack looked at Sephiroth and…blushed. He shook his head, looked down for a second. When he looked back up, he thought…he thought General Sephiroth might be blushing too, just barely. "Umm," Zack bit out a slight laugh. "What was that you said?"

"I said… Oh." Sephiroth laughed this time, and passed a hand through his hair. "That didn't come out well at all, did it? What I meant was, I need you to sleep in the bed with me. That's all. Nothing...inappropriate, I assure you. I wouldn't ask, especially since we hardly know one another, but I cannot allow myself to sleep alone right now. I need someone here with me, and…" He stared hard at Zack. "It has to be a Soldier."

"But Sir…"

"It's just…it needs to be someone like you."

"Like me?" Zack leaned back a little, not quite sure what the General meant by that.

Sephiroth nodded. "Brash, confident, perfectly willing to disobey order and convention. And yet, also quite skilled and adaptable to any situation."

Zack opened his mouth. "I…thank you. Sir."

Sephiroth waved a hand dismissively. "I won't touch you, I promise. You could even sleep on the floor if you'd like, though I'll grant you it's not exactly comfortable, which is why I suggest we share the bed."

Zack shook his head. "No, it's just…what do you want me to do? And why? That is, if you don't mind me asking."

"I told you, it's an unusual request. And you have to be certain." Sephiroth sighed again. "Basically, I've been experiencing some unusual and uncontrollable…symptoms, lately. Sleepwalking, to be precise. Should you choose to assist me in this matter, I would need you to keep me in the room at night." Sephiroth swallowed. "By any means necessary."

Zack's eyes went wide. "Um…Sir? You uh, you realize I'm only a Second Class, right?"

Sephiroth nodded. "If I believed this assignment to be in any way beyond your skills to perform, Soldier, I would not ask."

"Then," Zack swallowed thickly, wondering just what kind of trouble he was getting himself into here. Still…what kind of idiot would turn down an opportunity like this? He couldn't help but feel just the tiniest bit excited. Check out the General's apartment, sleep in his bed, see what he's like when he's not on duty… Zack grinned. "I'll do it."


	2. Part Two: Brush

In Sleep  
By S.J. Kohl

Zack/Sephiroth  
NC-17, overall

* * *

Zack took a deep breath and tried to remain still, but there wasn't anything for it. He couldn't sleep. His nerves were on fire, and he could hear Sephiroth breathing beside him. He wasn't _afraid _to move, exactly. It was more like…he didn't want to disturb the General. And he still didn't really understand why he was here. Sephiroth had asked him to sleep in his bed with him because he had problems with sleepwalking, but...to keep him there _by any means necessary? _That sounded like some pretty serious sleepwalking problems. What happened while Sephiroth was sleeping? Did he get violent? Was he afraid of hurting someone? Zack frowned and rolled over on his side, facing the General. He allowed his eyes to trail down Sephiroth's body, but he didn't stare at him outright. That was likely to wake the man up. Sephiroth _was _asleep...wasn't he? He looked quiet, in any case. Peaceful. That stress line Zack had noticed between his eyebrows earlier wasn't there anymore, and his lips were slack instead of tight and grim. His mouth was even open slightly. Zack couldn't help but smile. The General looked innocent, and he looked even younger now than he had earlier, if that was possible.

He hardly looked older than Zack himself, if Zack remembered anything about what he looked like in a mirror.

_I won't touch you. _

Sephiroth's promise. Sephiroth's fear, it seemed like. Zack stifled a sigh. Despite everything that had happened that day, he wasn't afraid of being raped. He felt safe here, in this room, with Sephiroth. It was weird, really. He hadn't felt like this since a long time before he'd left home, and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. He certainly wasn't sure he should trust it. And yet…

_It needs to be someone like you._

Sephiroth was extending _his _trust. General Sephiroth didn't even know him, and yet here he was, in the man's bedroom, alone with him. Sure, he probably wouldn't even be able to chop off a lock of silver hair before the General had his nuts in a vice, but that wasn't the point. There was a certain amount of respect involved in this situation, and it had to be pretty important for Sephiroth to invite Zack into his space like this. He was a pretty private guy according to the rumors. Zack snorted, knowing that was probably the understatement of the generation. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew one thing: Sephiroth needed him. Zack's eyes widened. Actually, he knew two things: Sephiroth needed him, and Sephiroth was awake. Zack swallowed, caught by a pair of green eyes that glowed in the darkness.

"Zack?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"When I asked you to take this assignment, I didn't intend for you to remain awake all night. That would be unreasonable of me, considering your daily schedule."

Zack laughed softly. "I, uh…I'm aware of that, Sir."

"Then I suggest you stop staring at me and get some sleep."

Zack laughed again. "Yes, Sir."

_Just...whatever happens, don't let me leave the room. _

Sephiroth's words before they'd gone to bed. His only order. _All right, Sir. _Zack reached out as Sephiroth closed his eyes, tamping out the green glow that had suffused the room. He held his breath and sifted his fingers through strands of liquid silver, visible even in the darkness of the room, and he closed his fist around a thick lock, marveling at how soft it felt. He closed his eyes. _I won't let you leave. _

Zack was a light sleeper. If anything happened—whatever it might be—he would wake up. For now, he might as well get some sleep.

_I won't let you leave. I promise._

* * *

The girl closed her eyes and tried not to make a sound. She wouldn't scream for them this time. She wouldn't.

But it hurt.

They were jabbing the needle in again, right into the vein in her neck, and there were hands on her head, squeezing hard, forcing her down against the table they had her strapped to. She could feel the line going in and she tried to move, tried to jerk upward, but her restraints had no give. Like usual.

_Mother?_

But there was no answer. There hadn't been an answer for a long time.

The pressure on her let up, and the girl knew the hands were gone, but it wasn't any use. The needle was still there, attached to an I.V. line now, and that was what hurt so much. Physical pain she could handle. It didn't go beyond the body, and it was only temporary. Even if it lasted fifty years, it was only temporary. But these men didn't care about causing physical pain. They wanted to steal from her, and she couldn't stop them.

The beeping started then, rhythmic, high, slow. But speeding up, second by second, until it was a continuous stream of sound. And when it stopped…

Silence. Complete, damning.

A rush, a burning. Knives dividing each vein, each artery, each capillary and blood vessel into halves, carving her apart cell by cell with that horrible liquid. And she could feel her grip slipping, feel herself losing…

And then it happened, just like it happened every time no matter what lies she told herself.

She screamed.

* * *

Sephiroth came awake all at once just as the sun crested the horizon. He didn't move. He could feel the boy's fingers tangled in his hair, just as they had been when he'd finally fallen asleep. No matter what he'd told Zack, the boy definitely wasn't the only one who'd had a hard time getting to sleep. Sephiroth wasn't used to having someone else in his room, especially overnight, and in the same bed… The weight on the other side of the bed, the movement, the breathing—it felt strange, hostile almost. He'd hardly been able to breathe for fear of disturbing Zack. Still, when he'd finally gotten to sleep, he'd slept well, and…nothing had happened. Relief shivered through Sephiroth, and he sighed. With the information in those documents, and what Hojo had said, he'd thought…but perhaps he'd been overreacting. It was too soon to tell, though. He needed more time. Right now, what Sephiroth needed was to get up, only…he wasn't quite sure how to get himself free without waking Zack up.

He sat up, though, resigned to waking Zack. The boy was a Soldier, after all, and Soldiers slept lightly. Sephiroth glanced down at Zack—sleeping on his back now with his mouth open and his hair everywhere, his covers kicked to the middle of the bed and his gray shirt riding up over his stomach. Sephiroth swallowed, his eyes drawn almost against their will to the sliver of skin exposed between the soft cotton shirt and the sleep pants that rode low across Zackary's hips. The clothes were too big. They were his clothes, not Zack's. He hadn't wanted to send the kid back to his own room for clothes and take the risk that someone would catch him out after curfew. All Soldiers, regardless of age or Class, were required to honor curfew and a number of other rules until they'd been in the program for two years, and the penalties for breaking those rules were quite heavy. So Sephiroth had done the expedient thing and tossed Zack a pair of his sleeping clothes. Now, though, he was almost beginning to regret it. He just couldn't help but stare at the thin, dark line of hair drawing a trail from just below the boy's navel to beneath the waistband of those black pants.

Then Zack shifted, his eyes cracking open and his arms stretching up over his head, pulling the hem of his shirt even higher up his chest. "Morning, Seph."

Sephiroth quirked an eyebrow, watching as his hair moved with Zack's right hand, and wondering if the boy was going to yank it. He didn't, but that was only because it was as long as it was. Any shorter, and Zack might have been a trifle embarrassed. Probably not, though. He didn't seem to have much in the way of shame that Sephiroth had noticed.

Still, Zack did flush slightly and open his hand, allowing the silver strands to fall back to the bed, glinting as they hit the faint light peaking in through the window. He grinned sheepishly up at Sephiroth. "Sorry."

"Quite all right, but…" Sephiroth shook his head and just cocked his eyebrow higher still. "Seph?"

Zack coughed again and shrugged, blinking blearily. "I meant, umm…Sir?"

Sephiroth chuckled and leaned back against the headboard, staring at Zack contemplatively out of the corner of his eye. "No one's called me that for a long time."

"Well, Sir," Zack sat up and rolled his shoulders, trying to stretch out the kinks. "I really don't think anyone has the balls."

"Except for you?"

Zack grinned. "Hey, I never said I had the balls. With me, it's more a case of not having the brains."

"Ah," Sephiroth nodded. "Now that does sound fairly plausible."

"It should. It's the truth." Zack ran a hand through his disheveled hair. He looked at Sephiroth, his expression suddenly serious. "What you were afraid of...it didn't happen."

"No," Sephiroth sighed. "It didn't happen. But that doesn't mean it won't."

"Look, uh…I don't mean to sound presumptuous or anything. Well, actually I do, but that's not the point. It's just…" Zack turned to the side a little, shifting his legs so they were bent at the knees and he could really look Sephiroth in the eyes. "I'm supposed to be working with you. Doing a job, you know. And I kind of feel like I'm working with partial information. I'm not criticizing or anything, and if you can't give me any more information than you have already, well, you're the boss, you know? But…I feel like I might be able to do my job better if I know more about what's going on, you know?"

Sephiroth stared at Zack, his green eyes dark and narrowed. The kid had a point. And what was more, he hadn't hesitated to bring it up. Sephiroth let out a breath of air and pulled the twisted blanket over his lap, coming to an immediate decision. "Do you remember those papers I had you steal from Hojo?"

"You gave me that assignment?" Zack's eyes went a little wide. "Huh. And here I thought those orders came from Angeal, especially considering the little bit of fun you and I had afterward."

Sephiroth almost winced, but he nodded instead. "Sorry about that."

"It's cool," Zack waved a hand. "You do what you have to do. Besides, it could have been worse. I mean, I hadn't even _met _you yet, and I didn't see you the entire time you were searching me, considering Dr. Hojo had me pressed against the wall long before you showed up, but still…at least it was you who did the whole thing and not someone else. Think about it; Hojo could've insisted on doing the job himself!" Zack laughed and twirled his fingers in the faded fabric of the shirt he was wearing. Sephiroth's clothes were comfortable. He didn't really want to give them up. "Anyway, yeah, I remember it. That little escapade ended with you putting your hands somewhere I'm fairly certain you don't ever want them again. I don't think I could forget that in a hurry."

Sephiroth coughed. "Yes, well... The documents you picked up… They were copies of test results. Tests that had been run on me, to be exact. Some of the comments Dr. Hojo had been making had made me curious. Suspicious, I suppose you could say, and he wouldn't hand the test results over to me himself. What I found..."

Zack waited for Sephiroth to continue, hardly daring to breathe as the General paused, his lips thinned in anger.

"My mako levels are up."

"Yeah, but...aren't your levels naturally higher than everyone else's?"

"Yes. This, however, is something different. I underwent a series of injections about three months ago. They were supposed to be routine. My genetic makeup is different from that of a regular Soldier; consequently, I require different treatments. Still, I have come to believe that these were not, in fact, routine injections. My mako levels…Hojo has spiked them somehow, caused them to increase again. My mako levels usually run about fifty points higher than the levels of other First Class Soldiers." Sephiroth took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Something in my system has changed. The mako has begun feeding on itself. As time passes, it increases rather than decreases. In fact, as of today I should be carrying two and a half times the amount of mako I'm usually carrying."

"Shit!" Zack's eyes widened. "That…that would make you..."

Sephiroth almost smiled. To the boy's credit, he still hadn't flinched. Actually, he might have even moved _toward _Sephiroth. It was difficult to say for certain, with his eyes still closed. "Inhuman. A monster. I believe I've found a way to drain it, to keep it under control. It seems to be working, anyway, but it's only a temporary solution. And I fear even that might have some side effects, or perhaps it might prove to be only partially effective. I'm afraid I could get...unstable."

"Seph..." Zack did move then, not even aware of using the nickname again. He shifted over and placed one hand on Sephiroth's shoulder.

Sephiroth didn't flinch. It would have been terribly rude after the courtesy Zack had just shown him. Still, he was unaccustomed to having people touch him. "You see, that's why I need you. As things stand, I have control over my actions during the day. But in sleep..."

Zack's grip tightened, and he nodded, grimly. "For how long?"

"Until I can get the levels to stop rising. until..." Sephiroth shook his head. "I don't know. I just don't know."

"Well..." Zack shrugged. He moved again, sliding sideways until he could lie down width-ways on the bed, placing his head practically in the General's lap. "Don't worry about sleeping, anyway. I'll be here as long as it takes. Besides," he grinned. "I would never pass up a possible opportunity to manhandle the General. Especially after that cavity search fiasco."

Sephiroth chuckled. "Somehow, I don't doubt that." He dropped his hands into his lap and closed his eyes again, hardly noticing when a couple of his fingers drifted into Zack's hair, brushing a stray black lock back from the boy's face.

Zack held his breath. He'd kind of gathered that the General didn't touch people often. He hadn't thought a thing about it when he'd laid himself down like this, but…it was probably fairly inappropriate. Still, General Sephiroth didn't _seem _like he was uncomfortable. Zack almost asked him to scratch the itch that was stinging behind his ear, but he figured it was better not to push. "And anyway," he stifled a yawn. "Your bed's a lot more comfortable than mine."


	3. Part Three: Urge

In Sleep  
Part Three: Urge  
Rating: R

Sephiroth came awake all at once, his nerves crawling with hunger and jade fire. He could barely breathe through the tension. His fingers twisted in the sheets, and he closed his eyes, struggling to stay still, to keep control. He should have drained the levels today, but he'd forgotten. Sephiroth shivered, stifling a snarl as he shook his head.

"_General Sephiroth." A professional, slightly gravelly voice. A pleasant voice. Deceptively so._

_Sephiroth turned to face the man, anger lining his eyes with steel. "Dr. Hojo."_

"_You missed our appointment yesterday."_

_Sephiroth inclined his head. "I was busy."_

Sephiroth bit down on his lip, not even noticing the blood that oozed from the gash as his back arched, electricity thrumming through his veins. He could feel the turmoil rising in his mind, his own instincts conflicting with the urgings of the foreign substance that clouded his blood and mutated his senses. He wanted to take, to conquer, to destroy. _No. I refuse. _

"_You can't possibly refuse me a few moments of your time, General. I only need you to answer a couple of questions."_

_Sephiroth glared, suppressing the urge to slam the man into the nearest brick wall. "Then ask."_

"_Have you been experiencing any headaches lately? Or dizzy spells?"_

The room was spinning. Sephiroth groaned, his face tingling with numbness. He could feel his head throbbing already, a dull ache in the background of his thoughts, pushing him relentlessly toward some unknown end. What would happen if he gave in to that rhythmic beat?

"_Any…unusual urges? Volatile temperament?"_

"No," Sephiroth whispered. _I am not a monster. _

"_Perhaps you could come back with me now, if you have some free time. I have something that might help ease your…distress."_

"Nooo!" Sephiroth screamed, his legs thrashing anxiously as his body fought against itself, struggling at once to move and to stay still.

Dark weight slammed into him, pinning his arms to his sides and pressing down roughly on his thighs. Sephiroth snapped his teeth, his eyes rolling back, cold sweat beading against his skin.

"_Are you sure you want to turn down my help, General? I know what haunts you in the night."_

Sephiroth shook his head, bucking upward savagely, snapping his attacker's grip and spinning to pin the man beneath him, anger surging in his blood, driving him to strike, to destroy. "I don't need your help," he snarled.

A hoarse, nervous laugh. "That's not what you've been telling me for the last two weeks."

Sephiroth's blood ran cold. He shuddered. Blinked. Stared down into a pair of serious violet eyes. "Zack?"

"It's me, Seph. Just me."

Sephiroth's breaths came harsh and fast. His eyes gleamed. He scrambled backwards on the bed and clenched his fists. Closing his eyes, he called in a long, wickedly sharp knife. He held it out to Zack, who now crouched on the mattress, ready for almost anything. Almost.

"Seph?" Zack's voice was young, uncertain.

"Do it."

"Do what?"

"Anything. Cut me, hit me. Break my legs. It doesn't matter. Whatever it is, it needs to be severe, Soldier."

"But…Seph…"

Sephiroth shook his head viciously, the anger rising within him again. "Just do it, Soldier. This is an order."

Zack's face was grim as he took the knife. He launched himself at Sephiroth, knocking the General to the ground and holding him there with the weight of his body, the knife pressed to Sephiroth's throat. He threw a hard left, wincing at the crackle of cartilage as his fist connected with Sephiroth's nose. The General reacted just as he had before, shoving upward and attempting to turn them, to pin Zack beneath him.

Not this time. Zack allowed Sephiroth to push him upward just enough to get a leg between the General's thighs. Then he bore down again, slamming his knee into the General's groin. Guilt and anguish washed over him at Sephiroth's slight grunt of pain, but he forced it down, concentrating on the task at hand. There would be time for that later. He hoped.

He winced at a surge of pain in his neck, at the feeling of ripping flesh and dripping blood. Sephiroth had _bitten _him, had pressed forward against the knife's blade in order to get close enough. Zack cried out as nails tore into his back. He moved, risking his dominant position on a single move. Rising up on his knees, he thrust the knife deep into Sephiroth's stomach, twisting the blade and drawing it across, opening a gash from one sharp hipbone to the other.

Sephiroth screamed, and Zack leaped back then, his gorge rising at the thought of what he'd just done, at the real pain in Sephiroth's voice. Tears streaming down his face, he dropped the blood-stained knife and tore at the bed sheets, stripping them and folding the top sheet roughly, quickly. He knelt at Seph's side, pulling the man practically into his lap and pressing the sheet to the sickening wound in Sephiroth's belly. His stomach turned at the sight of all that blood. _Too much. Too much. _"Come on, Seph," he pleaded, his voice husky with guilt and desperation. "I'm sorry. I went too far. Please don't die on me."

And Sephiroth…chuckled. He chuckled, low and hoarse, his face buried in the sweat-soaked fabric of Zack's t-shirt. "I'm not going to die, Zackary."

"Y-you're not?"

"No. In fact, in about two hours I'll be perfectly fine."

Zack blinked, pressing the now scarlet sheet harder against Sephiroth's stomach. "Oh. But why…why…"

"You see now why I needed you? Who else would have been able to do what needed to be done? Healing drains the mako in our systems, Zack. It's what allows us to self-regenerate, and the worse the wound is, the more mako is needed to patch it up. That's why…" He trailed off in an almost silent whimper at a particularly sharp stab of agony.

Zack pulled Sephiroth more tightly, more securely, into his arms, leaning down to press an unthinking kiss to the top of the older man's head. "This is what you've been doing? Every day, by yourself…this…"

Sephiroth nodded and allowed his head to fall back some, allowed himself to look up into Zack's worried eyes. "It's the only way I know."

Zack shook his head in vicious denial. "There has to be another way. There _has _to be. I won't let you go through this anymore!"

"It's all right, Zack. I can handle a little bit of pain."

"A little bit of pain! Seph…you're guts are practically on the floor!"

Sephiroth reached up slowly, allowing his hand to trail along Zack's cheek in a gentle caress, leaving a smear of red in the wake of his fingers. His levels were dropping; he could feel the anger falling, settling into a more normal rhythm in his mind. A gentler throbbing. "You're…concerned for me."

"Of course I'm concerned, Seph! I…you're my commanding officer. My best friend."

Sephiroth smiled. "I have a best friend?"

"I…well…" Zack cleared his throat. "I hope so."

"I've never had a friend before."

This time it was Zack who smiled, a small, pained smile. "You have one now." He released his grip on the makeshift bandage—the flow of blood had already begun to slow—and drew his hand gently down Sephiroth's arm, stroking lightly, offering comfort because he could offer nothing else. "Seph…will you let me help you find a way to fix this?"

Sephiroth lay in silence for a long time, considering Zack's question. Zack's offer. It was dangerous. He didn't know what Hojo wanted, why he was doing this. He didn't know how many people were involved. President Shinra certainly, but how many more? And surely it wouldn't be long before they caught on, before they realized what he was doing and decided to take measures into their own hands, to become much more active in this…experimentation. Whatever it was. And Zack was young, still innocent in a lot of ways. He didn't deserve to be caught up in this. Sephiroth would never be able to forgive himself if Zack were to suffer for Sephiroth's sins, so to speak. He didn't want Zack to be involved. But wasn't the boy already involved in this? Hadn't Sephiroth pulled him in the very day he took him into his bed? Sephiroth sighed. "It will be dangerous."

"I know. But…I don't want you hurt anymore. And besides," he hesitated. "I'm the only one who even has a chance of standing beside you…aren't I?"

Slowly, Sephiroth nodded. "You're the strongest, Zack. The best."

"After you."

Sephiroth didn't answer.

Zack sighed, his fingers trailing over Sephiroth's shoulder and up the curve of his neck. He could feel his own wounds aching and stinging, but he ignored them. They were minor. Easily healed. He pushed Sephiroth's hair—silver stained red—behind one pale ear and cleared his throat. "I want to help."

"Then help, Zackary. I'm obviously not going to find the answer on my own."

"We'll find it together." Zack leaned down, unable to stop himself. He pressed a soft kiss to Sephiroth's parted lips, tasting a metallic hint of blood on his tongue. Licking his lips, he leaned back, panic fluttering in his stomach. "Um…"

But Sephiroth only drew in a slow breath. "So that's how it is, is it?"

Zack bit his lip and nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Seph."

"Yes, Seph."

Silence stretched between them. Finally, Sephiroth shifted slightly. "Zackary…you're an idiot."

Zack blinked. "I get that a lot. But what'd I do this time?"

"If I'd known what it was you wanted, I'd've kissed you the first night I brought you here."


	4. Part Four: Lips

In Sleep  
(Sephiroth/Zack)  
Part Four: Lips

Rating: NC-17

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Zack reached out, biting his lip as he slid his hand along the tight line of Sephiroth's belly, tracing the skin just over the waistband of Seph's pants. He needed to know, needed to be sure—

Strong fingers snapped closed over his wrist, holding his hand determinedly in place. "What are you doing?"

Zack cleared his throat. He looked up, his eyes traveling the length of the General's shirtless body before fixing on a pair of curious, burning green eyes that reached down into his chest. "Nothing." Zack shook his head, trying not to flex his fingers against the warm skin of Sephiroth's stomach. "I was just…"

"Checking me for injuries?" Sighing wearily, Sephiroth released Zack's hand, stifling a surge of disappointment when the boy drew it back from his skin. He sat up and re-settled the blanket across his lap. "I told you, Zack. I'm fine. It's been a few hours. No blood, no bruises, not even a scar to remind you of…what happened."

Zack shuddered. _The slick slide of the knife as it tore through flesh, the harsh gasp ripped from Sephiroth's lips. The blood, hot and damning. _"You mean what I did."

"No, Zack. You didn't do anything but what I asked you to do. And thanks to you, I feel better now than I have in days. So spare yourself the guilt. I'm the one who should have to bear that burden, not you."

"No!" Zack shook his head viciously. "Not you. None of this is your fault. You didn't ask for this! It's Hojo. He did this to you. He's the one who should have to pay the price for it."

Sephiroth smiled softly. _It's nice to have a friend. _He flashed back to earlier that night, to Zack's lips pressed against his, hot and insistent. A spark of interest thrilled through his veins. Sex was something he hadn't considered before in anything more than the abstract. He hadn't been able to ignore it completely, of course. People were afraid of him, and he'd been falsely accused of rape on more than one occasion. It was a common fear that his savagery extended beyond the battlefield, which was precisely why he'd been so quick to assure Zack that he wouldn't harmed or even touched within the walls of Sephiroth's apartment. And there were always one or two women willing to throw themselves at him, hoping for a marriage contract for the power and the status Sephiroth would bring to them. And there were even a few cadets hoping for an easy way to slip upward through the ranks. Despite the offers, however, the idea of sex had never really appealed to Sephiroth. These offers…they were just another objectification, another attempt to use and control him. No, he'd always politely put off the advances of the women and expelled the cadets, electing to take care of his needs on his own. It was much simpler and probably more pleasurable as well.

But this… Zack was different. He had power of his own, and he wasn't looking for more. Sephiroth wasn't sure _what_ the boy was looking for exactly, but he did know one thing. Zack genuinely _liked _Sephiroth. He didn't want anything from him except attention and maybe…friendship. It had taken Sephiroth a long time to fully realize this, and it still seemed strange to him. He'd been suspicious at first, but in the end, Zack was Zack. He wasn't loyal to Soldier or to ShinRa. He was loyal to Sephiroth and Sephiroth only. So he thought that maybe, just maybe, it was time to explore this idea of sex a little. There was only one problem.

Sephiroth clenched his fist in the sheets and suppressed a growl. He touched his hand gently to Zack's arm. "Hojo will get his reward some day, Zack. But first we need answers. For now however…" Sephiroth cocked an eyebrow. "I need a shower. And with my guts now safely back in place, I can actually take one." Drawing his hand back reluctantly, Sephiroth rose to his feet, a slight surge of unease rippling down his spine as he stood shirtless before Zack's curious eyes. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of the sleep pants he'd put on earlier to replace the blood-soaked ones. "Care to join me?"

Zack blinked, his brain struggling to process Sephiroth's last words. _Huh. When he said he'd've kissed me, he must have meant it. _Zack swallowed thickly, trying not to stare at the pale expanse of Sephiroth's chest, half-melting into the shadows of the room. He sat up slowly and ran a hand through his already disheveled hair. Zack flicked his eyes back to Sephiroth and struggled to swallow down the nervous energy that trembled in his fingers. He spread his lips in a wide, teasing grin and pulled himself to his feet, on the opposite side of the bed from Sephiroth. "Sure, Seph. You need me to wash your back for you?"

Sephiroth chuckled and strolled from the room, not bothering to look back at Zack. _No pressure. _If the boy wanted to follow, he would. Sephiroth kicked off his pants as he walked into the bathroom, smiling at the telltale sound of soft footsteps behind him. The smile turned into a grimace, however, when he opened the shower door and turned around to face Zack.

Zack had lost his shirt somewhere along the way to the bathroom. That, however, was not what had caused the grimace. His chest was pale and tightly muscled, leading down to a slender waist and that thin, teasing trail of hair just below his navel. His chest was stained with blood. Sephiroth's blood. The mark of Hojo's influence.

Sephiroth snarled. He didn't want Hojo here. These were his rooms, and Zack was _his _Soldier. Hojo didn't belong in here. Reaching out almost blindly, Sephiroth caught hold of Zack's arm, jerking the boy up against him and tumbling them both back into the shower.

"Seph?" Zack's eyes were wide and his expression was confused, almost wary.

Growling, Sephiroth slid the glass shower door shut with a loud bang and twisted the hot water on full blast.

Zack gasped as the spray rained down on him, icy cold and sharp as needles. "S-Seph?"

"Shut up." Sephiroth ran his hands over Zack's shoulders and down his chest, washing the blood from his skin to run down the drain in a red stream as it mingled with the swiftly warming water.

"But I'm still wearing my pants."

Grunting a slight acknowledgement, Sephiroth jerked down on the waistband of Zack's sleep pants and smiled slightly as they fell to the floor, baring his body completely. Without looking away from Zack, Sephiroth reached for a bottle of soap and poured some into his hand. Then carefully, methodically, he trailed his palms over the boy's flesh, cleansing him of the taint of the mako and the violence. What had he been thinking, inviting Zack here, asking him to do this for him? The boy was only fifteen years old. He didn't deserve this…this…

"Seph."

Sephiroth knelt, drawing his hands down sculpted thighs and over tight calves. The blood continued to run. The water was clear, Sephiroth knew, but that didn't stop the blood from running. What had he been thinking? He rose to his feet, turning Zack around roughly and shoving him up against the shower wall. He ran his hands over the deep scratches on the boy's back, wincing as he looked at them, mourning as he cleaned them. It had been a stupid move, inviting Zack into this, asking for his help. It could have gotten the boy killed. _Sephiroth _could have killed him.

"Seph."

Sephiroth leaned down then, pressing his lips unthinkingly against the bruised and swollen bite mark on Zack's neck.

Zack flinched slightly.

Sephiroth's eyes flew wide and he stumbled backward, his hands splaying against the smooth glass of the shower door for support. "I-I'm sorry."

Zack spun, growling, and launched himself forward. His hands tangled in Sephiroth's hair, he pulled the older man down for a rough kiss, thrusting his tongue into the General's mouth and slamming them once again against the back wall of the shower. Breathing roughly, he pulled back and leveled a fierce glare up into Sephiroth's eyes. "Now who's being the idiot?"

Sephiroth's eyes went sharp and narrow. "You could have been killed."

Anger lancing through his veins, Zack slapped Sephiroth across the cheek. Hard. "So could you!" He shook his head. "Damn it, Seph, if this goes on we could both be dead tomorrow for all I know. But you know what? That's a risk I'm willing to take. For you. To help you. And you can just stop whatever bullshit line of thought you've got going on because I'm _not _a kid, Seph. I'm a Soldier, damn it! So let me do my job. Let me help you."

Sephiroth raised a hand to his cheek, pressing his fingers against the slight sting. Zackary Fair had slapped him. Casually, angrily. Slapped him. A slow smile spread across Sephiroth's lips. He knew now what had provoked him, what had been guiding his near-panic at the sight of his blood sheathing Zack's skin. The mako, in normal amounts, worked to sharpen natural ability—strength, speed, intelligence, stamina. In extreme amounts, it mutated both the mind and the body, creating what were essentially monsters. At its present level, the mako in his system was working to sharpen and twist his instincts and inclinations, urging him toward radical behavior and uncontrolled reactions. And Zack…Sephiroth's instincts told him to claim Zack, to possess him and protect him. To keep close this boy who thought nothing of casually slapping him, of striking the Great General Sephiroth across the cheek.

Perhaps he would claim the boy. But it would be on his terms and his terms alone. Sephiroth stared down into a pair of mottled violet eyes. He sighed, shivering slightly at the hot glide of the water as it rained down over his skin. "I apologize. My mind has a tendency to run away with me these days if I'm not careful, and I was too…distracted…to keep proper control."

Zack licked his lips, his hands moving to tangle in Sephiroth's wet mass of mercury hair. "Distracted?"

"Yes…distracted." Sephiroth leaned forward then, capturing Zack's lips in a gentle kiss. He closed his eyes, reveling in the soft heat of Zack's lips, in the first kiss he'd ever initiated. Zack's tongue was hot as it slid along the line of his lips, and Sephiroth smirked even as he opened his mouth to allow Zack entry. Even in kissing, Zack didn't hesitate to assert his independence. His dominance even. Sephiroth pressed his own tongue against Zack's in a slick caress as he reached out to shut off the water. His eyes gleamed as he moved, twisting them around so that his own back was against the wall and Zack was standing in front of him, pressed roughly up against him, his arousal evident as their bodies slid wetly against one another. If Zack was going to dominate, he might as well be in the dominant position, after all.

Zack's fingers dug sharply into the pale flesh of Sephiroth's shoulders as he ruthlessly explored the General's mouth. He moaned low in his throat as their tongues soared against one another, slow wing beats that rose and fell with their breaths.

Sephiroth gripped Zack's hair in one tight fist, keeping those lips desperately close and deepening the kiss, encouraging Zack to move deeper. His other hand moved down the length of Zack's body, trailing over the tight, wet muscles of his chest and tracing the fine trail of hair to close around the hard length he could feel pressing against his skin.

Zack gasped, his eyes flying wide and his nails biting deeply into the flesh of Sephiroth's shoulders. "S-Seph…"

Sephiroth only laughed softly and leaned forward, capturing Zack's lips once more with his, his own tongue snaking out to dip into the younger man's mouth. He tightened his hand, drawing it slowly down the length of the boy's sex, drinking in the shuddering moan that spilled into his mouth. So this was what sex was about—pressing and breathing and shivering and wanting. Perhaps it was worth it after all, at least where Zack was concerned. Sephiroth moved his hand slowly, up and down, keeping his grip tight and sure. His arm slithered from Zack's hair and down his back, wrapping around his waist and holding him steady, keeping him on his feet even as his knees began to buckle. Zack was beautiful like this, with his eyelids fluttering and his breaths shaking, his tongue still raggedly sliding against Sephiroth's, attempting to hold the kiss even as he lost all semblance of control.

It didn't take long. Zack's grip on Sephiroth's shoulders tightened, his muscles trembling as he bucked up into Sephiroth's grip, spilling himself in a hot surge of liquid against Sephiroth's skin. He fell, sated and boneless, into Sephiroth's arms, and they slid to the floor together, Zack practically lying in the General's lap.

Sephiroth smiled down into a pair of glazed purple eyes. He brushed a wet strand of black hair back from Zack's face. "Still alive?"

Zack grinned lazily. "Yeah. That was…that was…" Unable to articulate the feeling, he shifted around, moving so that he was curled against Sephiroth's side, one leg thrown over the General's thigh. He slid his hand down Sephiroth's chest and over the muscles of his stomach, but Sephiroth's fingers clamped down on his wrist once more before his hand could reach its intended destination. Zack looked up in almost-stoned confusion.

Sephiroth shook his head even as he bit down against his own arousal. "Can't, Zack. It's too dangerous."

"But…"

"Zack, I'm having trouble controlling my instincts just being around you. What in hell am I going to do if you wrap your hand around my cock?"

Zack looked sad, distraught. "But…I wanted…"

"I know." Placing two fingers beneath Zack's chin, Sephiroth tilted the younger man's head up and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. "When this whole mess is over and done with."

The glaze bled from Zack's eyes, leaving them bright and sharp. "You promise?"

A smile stretching across his lips, Sephiroth pulled Zack more tightly up against his side. He leaned his forehead against Zack's. "I promise."


End file.
